Military recruiters, who often work in schools and malls, have been known to make enlisting sound glamorous, lucrative, and patriotic in order to attract new cadets. Here are common lies recruits should always watch out for before they enlist in the military.
Unfortunately that only applied to soldiers after World War II. Those returning from home have to kiss a guy in an Elmo suit.
The only fun war was the Peloponnesian War.
Recruits don’t get great mental health treatment post-war from the Veteran Affairs Office but they can use promo code ‘ARMY20’ for 20% off the first month from BetterHelp.
To be fair, this pretense isn’t any more of a lie than it is anywhere else.
The idea of killing Hitler may be appealing, but he already died a long time ago.
This lie is rarely effective because recruiters have difficulty saying it without bursting into laughter.
Recruits know that discounted movie tickets aren’t worth it where today’s streaming services offer premium entertainment at home.
You actually have to pick out of a hat, and like 90% of the names in there suck.
Even if George H.W. Bush were president there’s no way he’d know your name.
Sure, they busted this myth on episode 235 of Mythbusters, but new recruits don’t have to know that.
Actually, most positions are far from the front lines and involve supply chain logistics or some shit.
Perfectly legal to tell recruits that an actor they admire made the ultimate sacrifice for their country and would be disappointed in anyone unwilling to do likewise.
Even if true, who would want to, right?
Unfortunately this gun only exists in pixel form.
The army wouldn’t dream of separating you from your fuzzy buddy!
This sounds great until you see how small the plots at Arlington National Cemetery are.
They get a lot of hippies to join by telling them this.
Sorry, they’ve got a quota to hit.