Lies Men Will Tell To Get You To Sleep With Them

Shocking holes in the American education system ensure at least some people don’t know this war ended almost 50 years ago.

Oh, really? You’re THE Hector Riviera?

The pope already travels with a coterie of beautiful men and women with whom he can sleep whenever he so chooses.

That’s Kevin Jonas.

Although they were compelling, no one has ever bought a bed from those old “As Seen on TV” ads.

Technically, he’ll still be over 18 years old. Don’t believe a thing he says.

While it might be tempting to sleep with celebrities, definitely check that he’s five guys and not one guy pretending to be an an iconic ​art-rock band.

Unless his mattress is a thin sheet of construction paper, this is unlikely to be the case.

If some dude tries this line on you, shut him up by demanding to see the magical sword he used, as well as proof that he used the same blade to slay Medusa.

Men will often use buzzwords like this in their advertising to fool you into thinking sex with them is beneficial to your health.

You might’ve picked the wrong cult to join.

Only a heretic would say such things openly. Off with his head.

Who exactly is he trying to impress here? 

Sure, and the minute you pull out your blanket, he’s all like, “Let’s use my blanket instead.” Typical.

Nobody actually believes in the old folk tale of President Barack Obama.

Sorry, this suitor is actually a wooden puppet brought to life by magic.

They’re pulling into the driveway as we speak!

The lengths to which men will go to get laid has no limits.