NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ—Attributing the move to unspecified supply chain issues, Johnson & Johnson reportedly raised the price of Band-Aids Wednesday to $100,000 apiece. “Beginning next year, an individual, standard-size Band-Aid will cost $100,000, while the price will be higher for larger adhesives and those with cartoon characters on them,” said Johnson & Johnson CEO Joaquin Duato in a press release, adding that the price hike was also due in part to revamping the Band-Aid compound to make them 5% more adhesive. “While we understand that many longtime Band-Aid users may take issue with this measure, we can assure you that there are several internal reasons necessitating the increase in order to continue providing Band-Aids that meet our customary standards. Additionally, much of the revenue generated from this move will be put toward research and development into additional Band-Aid innovations. It is only fair, as the producers of our proprietary Band-Aid product, that we ensure a fair price for the medical value they provide. We’ve also reached agreements with hospitals and insurance providers to ensure that you can still get a Band-Aid at a medical facility even if you can’t afford one.” The Johnson & Johnson CEO also strenuously denied recent allegations that it was trying to boost Band-Aid sales by getting people addicted to Band-Aids.