Oof, we’re cringing over here right now, gamers, because we just caught a glimpse of Thwomp throwing a total fit after realizing he’s not a big enough Mario enemy to get a walk-in table at chef Thomas Keller’s world-renowned restaurant The French Laundry.
Yikes, this is super embarrassing—it’s obvious that the stone-faced Mario antagonist thought he had enough clout that he could just immediately get seated at one of the most exclusive restaurants in Napa, and now he’s making a big scene that they can’t accommodate him.
We’re not quite sure what Thwomp was thinking strolling in without a reservation since this is an ultra-exclusive venue where tables are booked months in advance, but we’re absolutely dying over here right now as he keeps pacing back and forth and muttering “unbelievable” to no one in particular ever since the hostess turned him away.
Ugh, now the minor Nintendo antagonist is suggesting that the front-of-house staff needed to figure out a way to make things right “pronto” while he goes for a stroll outside to the artisanal herb garden. He’s just out there staring at plants and clearly fuming, gamers. Jesus Christ.
Oh, no. We didn’t think things could get any more uncomfortable, but Thwomp just barged back inside and cornered the manager to tell him that Super Mario Bros. 3 was one of the best-selling video game titles of all time and this treatment was “absolutely not” what he was expecting. Jeez, someone needs to take this dude aside and explain that maybe this is how they treat you when you’re out to eat in the Mushroom Kingdom, but here in California your name just doesn’t hold that kind of weight. Gamers, the worst part is he clearly came here trying to impress his date, and now they’re going to have to end up going to a Chili’s or something.
All right, that’s it for now, gaming fans, because the maître d’ just embraced Chargin’ Chuck and offered his whole family a table right up front and Thwomp looks like he’s about to lose his fucking mind. Hopefully, he’ll remember to make a reservation next time!