Elon Musk recently promoted a Twitter thread by journalist Matt Taibbi, which detailed internal company documents showing that the social media site blocked tweets publicizing a news story on Hunter Biden’s laptop. Here’s what The Onion discovered about Elon Musk’s “Twitter Files.”
Just because correspondence is “confidential” doesn’t mean there’s anything interesting about it.
Everyone knows Twitter’s over.
It’s odd that Musk and Matt Taibbi chose to focus on some racy photos of Hunter rather than all the evidence of the Bidens’ corruption involving Burisma, but maybe that’s what the next thread will be about.
Perhaps the only interesting tidbit to stem from this “investigation.”
Emails show that Twitter executives made a concerted effort to kill the story about Musk’s incredibly natural-looking hair plugs.
Though time consuming, Musk proved it possible.
Hunter Biden! Hunter Biden! Hunter Biden! HUNTER BIDEN!
Rather than sensationalizing the thread with three popcorn emojis, Musk was careful to only use two.
Sign up today and join the conversation!
I mean, the guy killed some monkeys and keeps impregnating employees, for God’s sake.
In lieu of solid evidence of wrongdoing, Twitter Files author Matt Taibbi debuted a delightful recipe for chicken pot pie sure to satiate those ravenous for scandal.
Not the earth-shattering scoop we were expecting, but an interesting tidbit, nonetheless.
Stop by store.theonion.com for your favorite Onion-branded apparel, just in time for the holidays!
And even more egregious than this obvious government overreach is the evidence that Twitter repeatedly listened.
Nothing beats good old email.
From Hunter Biden to Jack Dorsey to Elon Musk to Matt Taibbi, all the principals of the Twitter Files saga are dull as can be.
You’d think something as sinister and organized as the deep state would have its own domain name, but everyone involved just used their personal or work email accounts.
Elon Musk’s lack of discretion about former employee’s personal emails has haphazardly put them at risk, and if you are someone who has worked at Twitter, your turn is coming up!
The Yang Train would have charged full steam to the White House if it weren’t for these liberal shills.
Just forget about it for a few weeks and then you can act genuinely interested when he gives you his take on the whole thing.
Labeled as Hunter’s, but, yep, a few of those are Musk’s.