Lies Men Will Tell To Get You To Sleep With Them
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Every Lie George Santos Has Told About His Life Thus Far

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Rep. George Santos (R-NY) has repeatedly misrepresented his achievements, his career, and his heritage both before and during his time as an elected official. Here is every lie he’s told the public about his life so far.

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“My grandparents are fleeing the Holocaust as we speak.”

“My grandparents are fleeing the Holocaust as we speak.”

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Recent reporting has shown Santos’ connection to the Holocaust to be overblown, particularly in this case.

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“I used the power of my mind to crash United Flight 93.”

“I used the power of my mind to crash United Flight 93.”

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Santos maintained it was his telekinetic abilities and not the heroism of passengers that prevented the hijacked plane from reaching Washington on 9/11. ​

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“​I will work tirelessly for my constituents.”

“​I will work tirelessly for my constituents.”

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Granted, that lie’s pretty standard.

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“I caught big air during a ski trip to the Poconos Mountains that I financed with my mother’s funeral funds.”

“I caught big air during a ski trip to the Poconos Mountains that I financed with my mother’s funeral funds.”

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Eyewitness reports indicate that he ate shit multiple times, even on the green slopes.

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“I bowled a perfect game at Scott Symanski’s birthday party in eighth grade.”

“I bowled a perfect game at Scott Symanski’s birthday party in eighth grade.”

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Numerous sources have confirmed he bowled a 67 and threw up on the Jurassic Park arcade game.

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“I won my seat in the House of Representatives in a pie-eating challenge.”

“I won my seat in the House of Representatives in a pie-eating challenge.”

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While some districts relegate electoral responsibilities to hot-dog-eating competitions, none are on Long Island.

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“HBO Max will always be the home of Warner Bros.’ vast collection of Looney Tunes cartoons.”

“HBO Max will always be the home of Warner Bros.’ vast collection of Looney Tunes cartoons.”

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Like all of Santos’ pledges as head of HBO Max, this turned out to be a lie.

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“I can play ‘Wonderwall’ by Oasis.”

“I can play ‘Wonderwall’ by Oasis.”

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The Washington Post published a stunning expose that revealed Santos has never mastered the A7sus4 chord.

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“Several of my employees died in the great Black Death between 1347 and 1353.”

“Several of my employees died in the great Black Death between 1347 and 1353.”

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The timeline seems a little off.

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“I bear the mark of the Long Island prophecy.”

“I bear the mark of the Long Island prophecy.”

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It’s clear now that the squiggle on his forehead was just some Sharpie marker.

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“I’d like some more bread.”

“I’d like some more bread.”

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Santos always orders it then pretends he has no idea why the waitress has returned with a basket of rolls.

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“I’m Jewish today, but I’ll be Black next year.”

“I’m Jewish today, but I’ll be Black next year.”

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Yet another lie about his ethnicity.

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“I was the ‘Second Gunman.’”

“I was the ‘Second Gunman.’”

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George Santos wasn’t even born when fellow Catholic JFK was assassinated.

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“I am Daft Punk.”

“I am Daft Punk.”

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While the identity of Daft Punk was a mystery for most of their career, the simple fact that there were two members of the group means George Santos could not possibly be this musical duo.

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“I can jump really high.”

“I can jump really high.”

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Fact-checkers have repeatedly confirmed that Santos can only jump a few inches off the ground.

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Home Alone happened to me.”

Home Alone happened to me.”

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When asked to elaborate, he just reiterated, “Home Alone. The movie. It happened to me.”

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“I have some kind of compulsion to lie that will end up with me hated or dead or both. You’ve got to help!”

“I have some kind of compulsion to lie that will end up with me hated or dead or both. You’ve got to help!”

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Yeah, right.

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“I’m ready to set the record straight, put the lies behind me, and serve the people of the United States.”

“I’m ready to set the record straight, put the lies behind me, and serve the people of the United States.”

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If you buy it at this stage, that’s on you.

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You’ve Made It This Far...

You’ve Made It This Far...

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