Billy Eppler Takes Mets GM Job To Get Closer To Son Mr. Met

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QUEENS, NY—Admitting that some personal reasons had factored in to him accepting the position, new New York Mets general manager Billy Eppler told reporters Thursday that he took the job to get closer to his son Mr. Met. “It’s honestly a dream come true to be able to work in the same organization as my beloved son,” said Eppler, adding that after taking the job, he purchased a home just down the street from Mr. Met in Long Island, with father and son planning to carpool to Citi Field together during the 2022 season. “Outside of family functions, we didn’t get to see each other much over the past few years, with me out on the West Coast working for the [Los Angeles] Angels and Mr. Met here in New York. While baseball’s in our family’s blood, of course, I can’t say I was always happy with my son’s career choices—I always thought he would make a better scout. That said, it’s a great thing to be able to see my son every day at work now, not to mention my lovely daughter-in-law, Mrs. Met. Maybe someday we’ll be able to convince Mr. Met’s brother Chasten [Buttigieg] to follow the family into baseball and make us all Mets.” Eppler refused to comment on claims leveraged from several critics that he had benefited from nepotism and only landed the position due to his relationship as the father of a longtime employee.