
“‘Which knee is the bad one?’ I’ve been asked this a million times and the answer is always the same: I don’t know.”
“‘Which knee is the bad one?’ I’ve been asked this a million times and the answer is always the same: I don’t know.”
“‘What did it feel like pulling the first ever 900 in competition?’ Do you guys really think I was sober enough to remember?”
“A reporter at the French Open asked if Taco Bell and Del Taco were comparable restaurants, and I fucking lost it.”
“One reporter asked if I regret not taking the last shot when they already know I’m afraid of the basketball.”
“‘Do you know where I can find Leo Messi?”
“They always ask how I felt about the nudity. I’m always fine with the nudity. I wouldn’t play golf if I wasn’t.”
“I get annoyed when reporters ask me which one of them is the most handsome. I can barely see you guys through the lights! I always just say, ‘You’re all equally handsome to me,’ which seems to go over fine, but I just think it’s inconsiderate to keep putting me in that position.”
“‘Can you please state your full name for the record?’”
“One of my least favorite questions is when someone asks me what it’s like to be a Black quarterback. But even worse than that is when they ask me what it’s like to be a woman in music.”
“‘When you pass the ball, do you ever worry that the ball will be better off without you and never want to come back?’”
“Because my nickname is ‘PacMan,’ I’m often asked if I view my opponents as the ghosts or the dots. But obviously I view them as the cherries.”
“What was going through your mind when you were up there? I hate that question. I think about the same thing every game: how when Sonny is killed at the tollbooth in The Godfather, the year is 1948, but the car radio is playing the broadcast of Bobby Thomson’s ‘Shot Heard ’Round The World,’ which, of course, wouldn’t occur until 1951.”
“‘Who do you like?’ The whole grade knows I like Rebecca. Do your research.”
“‘Can I get a ride home?’”
“‘Which of your championship teams would you be most comfortable driving across the country in a big van as part of a roving folk band?’ C’mon, can’t reporters ever come up with something new?”